"Don't cry because it's over; smile because it happened"

That's what Joie told us yesterday before the final performance of "Cats". While I can--and do--smile because it happened, I still cried because it's over. In fact, I spent much of yesterday crying--before I even got to the theatre, when I got to the theatre, and after the show had ended. I know it sounds sappy and sentimental, but Sunday performances are hard for me anyway, and shows closing are hard; this one, I can say without a doubt, was THE hardest of all I've done.

The show went pretty kick ass, and I was super nervous about it. My mother-in-law came to see it, which made me nervous since she's never seen me in a show before. Two of my cousins-in-law, along with Amanda & Dustin came to see it. Top that off with dad and RJ sitting in the audience, and I was a ball of nerves. But they all seemed to enjoy it, and my dad even smiled and hugged me. (Which I sometimes think is a feat within itself.)

When I was smoking outside with Mindy before the show, I happened to glance at the ground, and saw a little something about 5 feet away. "I think I see a four-leaf clover," I told her. She thought I was full of it, but when I went over and bent down to look, it sure as hell was one! And about a foot and a half to the left was ANOTHER one! It may sound crazy, but I definitely think good old grandpa was a little upset about having to miss this show, so he sent me a couple little good luck charms while he was looking down on me. ;)

I've said it before, but I can't describe what this show has meant to me, and what kind of effect it's had on me. I've met several new faces--one of whom has quickly become a very close friend--and rekindled / strengthened old friendships. These people mean so damn much to me, they are family. There's no "like family" about it--they ARE family.

There were times during this whole process--hell, even sometimes over the course of the weekend while I'd be sitting on stage during the shows--that I just looked around and grinned at everyone. WE DID FREAKING "CATS"!!!!! It finally sank in yesterday what we'd done, and now it seems like it was yanked away. But I'm definitely thankful that I was given this opportunity, and I feel incredibly blessed to have shared it with some of my closest friends in the world.

I love you guys.