meltdown

So anyone who knows me knows that I'm a very independent person...some may go so far as to say I'm stubborn. (And, I would have to whole heartedly agree.) I had kind of a meltdown yesterday.

Backstory: I went to the ER last Sunday night after having some stomach pains off and on since Wednesday. Late last year I had the same kind of pains, and it turned out to be a ruptured ovarian cyst. The pain felt similar, and knowing the ER could do nothing about it other than dope me up on pain meds and release me a couple hours later, I decided to tough it out. By Sunday night, however, the pain had gotten much worse and I was pretty nauseous. I finally sucked it up and told Dustin to take me to the ER at SJMMC.

Long story short, they did CT scans, blood work, etc. All the normal battery of tests. The ER doc reviewed the CT scan and said my appendix was slightly inflamed, but he was going to have the surgeon come down and take a look at it. The surgeon reviewed the CT scan, and a half hour later, I was being prepped for surgery. The surgery took only about 45 minutes or so (from what I've been told), and they luckily were able to do it laproscopically (three 1-inch incisions), rather than having to make a big incision I was discharged late Monday evening, told to stay off work for the remainder of the week (so far), follow up with the surgeon in a week, and take it easy.

That's where the meltdown comes in. By yesterday, I'd had it with laying around the house, not being able to do anything, needing help with anything and everything. I decided I wanted to run a quick errand (Dusty had to drive since I can't do that, either) to the post office, then back home just to get me out. Needless to say, we didn't make it to the post office. I can't get regular clothes on (I've been living in pj shorts and pants all week), and I've found that standing too long increases the pain and makes me dizzy. So I had a meltdown. I bawled my eyes out. I know if I try to push it I'm going to make myself worse, but I have SUCH a hard time being dependent on someone else.

Hopefully this will heal more quickly over the next couple of days (I feel a lot better than I did earlier in the week), and I will be able to be out and about soon enough. Wish me luck that I can accept help, rather than being a weenie and "tough girl" and having this ridiculous desire to do everything "BY MYSELF!!"