wrap-up

FRIDAY, MARCH 25: Laundry at mom & dad's, actually got all 7 loads done! Eisch came over about 2 and played PS 2 all day w/ Dustin. Bull & Red met us over there around 9-ish, and the 5 of us were off to Wild Country--Dan turned 30 and was having a party; we invited poker buddies so Dustin would have some people he was more familiar with. Carly showed up there, Dan & Lindsey, Kevin & Becca, Mary Jo & Bill, Jolene & John, plus others. It was a pretty crazy night. Jolene & I entered a contest, but neither of us won.
SATURDAY, MARCH 26: Picked up mom and made the drive to the Hecker Dome--she wanted to write down exact directions / times / mileage to mail to people who need it for the reception. Stopped by Dustin's house to get the pool stick, hung out for a bit, showed mom around, etc. Back to the apt. to chill out, did some grocery shopping and cleaning, then FINALLY relaxed. Took a nap from about 3 pm to 6:45 p.m. Were supposed to meet Eric & Heather @ Teacher's at some point--waited at the apt. for Red & Brodie & Eisch to show up. Left the apt. around 9-ish again (in Brodie's truck this time) and headed to Teachers. Place was packed for an Illini party, plus Vanilla Ice was there and there was a $15 cover. Having only $20 in my pocket, that didn’t work; we piled back into the truck and headed to Jerzey’s. Eric & Heather ended up not coming, but Bull & Carly each showed up, and all but Brodie and Carly proceeded to drink ourselves into stupidness. Left around 2 a.m., back to the apt. where the guys decided to hit golf balls over the highway, and Brodie tried teeing off of Bull’s ass. Priceless. Everyone left around 5 a.m.
SUNDAY, MARCH 27: Hoppy Easter! Dustin realized he had left BOTH sets of car keys in Brodie’s truck. Nice. Ended up opening Dustin's truck to get the spare set, and I went to church. Grandma stopped by the apt. for a bit to check it out, then Dustin & I headed to Dylan’s to meet Brodie for our keys. Picked up my car, headed to Hecker for Easter. Dinner w/ the Bueschers / Daniels--wayyyy too much food, but good. Shopped a bit at Wal-Mart, asleep around midnight.
MONDAY, MARCH 28: Off work--hung out w/ Amanda & shopped til we dropped. :)

St. Patrick's Day

St. Patrick's Day is kind of a down day for me. So it's been 5 years ago today that my grandfather passed away--shouldn't I be over it by now? To tell the truth, nope. I'm not. But that's just me. I mean, hell, the man was the only grandfather I ever knew.
This morning I was explaining to Lana that my grandpa passed away on this date 5 years ago, and how it's just kind of "another day" for me, and I talked about my grandma as well. And that really is the main reason I'm writing today--about my grandma...

After I got to my desk, I sat down and was thinking about "the crazy old lady"--as I endearingly love to call her. (More on that one later.) I have lost friends, grandparents, cousins, great aunts, and great uncles. And of course each of them hurts like I could not possibly explain, but I can not even fathom losing a husband, father, or mother at this point in my life. I know friends who have experienced that, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone, no matter how young or old. Now I'm sure my grandma feels down on St. Patrick's Day, as do the rest of us; however, this woman is strong enough to not let it overrule her or let her compromise her day to feel sorry for herself. I can't say how she handles a day like this, but she always comes out on top.

This woman is a breast cancer survivor for nearly 17 years now. She has endured and overcome the removal of one of her breasts, plus the loss of her hair from treatments. (It has all grown back now, of course.) She has had several knee surgeries, and is still up walking around and going non-stop. She retains fluid in her arm, which makes it swell up to twice the normal size so that she has to wear a special sleeve, but she doesn't let that stop her, either. Incredibly active in her Church, and strong in her faith, she wouldn't think of skipping church just because she "didn't feel like going." Before all this, though, grandma raised three kids (Sandy--my mom, Patty, and Billy) and became the favorite to 6 grandkids (myself, Ray--my brother, Adam, Austin, Brad, and Amanda). Grandpa was her Navy boy, and I still have the rosary he brought me back from Israel. No matter what happened, or what kind of problems they had, "mom" always loved "dad"--little pet names I heard my grandparents use for each other on more than one occasion.

So why do I call her the "crazy old lady"? She's just kooky. And I don't mean like drool-all-over herself-talk-goofy kooky. But fun kooky. If she's not one already, she definitely would qualify as a member of the Red Hat Society. This woman lives and loves life and praises God everyday for what she has. She makes no bones about what kind of behavior is and is not allowed in her presence--my mother and I have both learned the hard way that you do NOT flip off your fiancee / husband in front of her (even joking), or you WILL get smacked. Some of the stuff she comes up with, you just wouldn't expect from a grandma. I'm not saying that's a bad thing--not at ALL. That's one of the many things I love about my grandma--she can be quite unpredictable. I guess that would be one main reason I call her the "crazy old lady"--and I know not many people could get away with that.

All I can say is that I ever have to go through even part of what my grandmother has been through, I hope that I can do it with even half the grace & strength that she has, and end up just as wise and loving as her.

Love you grandma.
Love and miss you grandpa.
Everyone have a fun--but safe--St. Patrick's Day

baring the soul--nervously

she stands at the edge of the cliff
peering wearily down
she knows she could leap
falling straight to the sea
with hardly a breath or a sound

she teeters at the precipice
almost losing her grip
then she looks up to the sky
and a smile comes to her lip

she sees him there among the clouds
with arms stretched open wide
she crosses her arms
and turns her face
but knows she cannot hide

looking back into the sky
letting the breeze cool her skin
she knows that there is not a way
she can possibly win

closing her eyes she wavers there
and then begins to fall
with ears as strong as flying bats
he hears her silent call

quick as a cat he catches her
saving her from death
with tears in her eyes she understands
this won't be her final breath

clinging on to nothingness
was what she thought she'd done
she opens her eyes and finally sees
what she'd almost lost; she was numb

visions dance before her
of what she'd be giving up
car and home, job and cash
material things of cost

but what startles her and makes her see
are the things she would never trade
family, friends, and feelings
a love that could never fade

she sobs into his open arms
tears filling a coffee cup
"i love you," she whispers
and holds him close
then finally wakes up