busy busy

Yet another weekend has wooshed by and it's back to the grind...I hate Monday mornings. Got a lot done / accomplished / drank ;) this weekend though...
Friday:
>Hot Shots w/ Eric, Denise, and Alex. Closed the place down--as usual--but had a good time. Saturday:
> Ordered wedding invitations
> Met Ade and Kelly at A Bride to Be to pick out the flower girl dress. I picked out 2 dresses that I liked and thought were cute, then I let her pick out the 3rd one to try on. After every dress she would come out and say, "I like this one." But I think we settled on the one that she picked to begin with. (lol)
> Went up to QAS to "shovel" snow, but we ended up just throwing rock salt on it since it wasn't too bad.
> Headed to Waterloo for Amanda's science fair
> BACK to South County to play poker at 4 p.m. at Rockin' Gators--I ended up getting 11th place. (Got 11th place at 7 p.m. Thursday night, and 2nd place at 10 p.m.--woo hoo, go me! Highest place I've ever gotten is 2nd!)
> Were supposed to head to Carbondale to party w/ Jim & Nate, but went to Croc's for yet MORE poker--neither of us placed in the 7 or 10 p.m. tournament that night, but we got pretty drunk while playing, and after.
> Went to Hot Shots w/ Brodie & Mike until they closed. >Home and to bed sometime around 2 a.m.
Sunday:
> Up at 11:30 a.m., chilled around the house for a bit, cleaned up the basement. (Slightly)
> Fazzoli's for (free) lunch w/ Dustin & RJ (thanks to coupons from Dustin's work.)
> Hobby Shop for RJ--that kid is ALWAYS working on a damn model of some sort.
> Spent 2 1/2 hours in Cingular signing up for the "Add a Line for $9.99" plan and getting phones for me and Dustin.
> Headed over to Dustin's, watched the WWE PPV (we are such NERDS), then went to bed about 11:30 p.m. *whew*

approved!

Well, I applied for an apartment in Villa Roma, on Union Road in South County...

AND WAS APPROVED!!!!!

It will actually be me and Dustin's apartment, but for credit reasons, it will be "mine" until we get married. It is a pretty big two bedroom apartment (not sure yet if it will be ground level or second floor) and the rent price is GREAT. It's in a good neighborhood, not too far from my parents' house--it is actually up the street from the apartment Denise & I used to live in.

We fell in love w/ this apartment and both agreed, "We can quit looking now." So I filled out the application, they ran a credit check on me, and called me only about 5 or 6 hours later to tell me I'd been approved. I'm so excited!!! Several big selling points: vanity mirror in the bathroom (!), huge pantry in the kitchen, little island in the kitchen (!), and 'privacy wall' in the bathroom. March 5, 2005 is the big move in day!!! Anyone willing to lend some muscle power? Post a comment and let me know!

communication skills

Met w/ Msgr. Hambrough tonight to begin discussing the 'results' of our 164 question 'compatibility test' we took several weeks ago...

When we sat down in his office, he handed us a sheet of paper that had our 'results' on it. In some areas, we did very well (%'s were based on how many questions we answered the same way as each other.)--for instance, we got a 100% in parenting issues. (Go us!) But in other areas, we didn't do so hot: financial issues, for example, got us a 25%. Not so good. Then Msgr. explained that the authors of this 'test' choose how they feel the questions should be answered--a.k.a. the "right" answers. So no matter if a couple answers the questions the same as each other--which, in my opinion matters more than what is "right" by someone else's standards--they are still counted as "wrong".

Tonight's topic was communication, mostly. (I think we earned maybe a 42% in this category. Again, not so hot, but we both know and agree it isn't one of our strongest points.) We discussed w/ Msgr. how we handle each other's petty annoyances and idiosyncrasies (sp?); Dustin decided to tell Msgr. exactly how I handle it: by saying, "You're annoying the piss out of me!" That got an interesting look from Msgr., but also a chuckle.

We discussed how best to 'proceed' in an argument--i.e., I need to give Dustin his 10, 15, 30 minutes to calm down (but he can't change the amount of time once the clock's started ticking, ha ha!) then he needs to be able to say, "Ok, I'm calm; let's talk."

We also told Msgr. how we like to 'pick' at each other to see how riled up we can get the other person; he thought we were weirdos for that. "In my 19 years of doing this, I have never heard a couple say, 'We like to pick at each other just to annoy each other'." But when Dustin and I explained that we don't do it to piss each other off persay, and explained that's how we joke w/ each other, Msgr. seemed to understand a little bit better.

Other questions on the test were brought up and discussed--we both think the other is stubborn / hard to reason w/; he doesn't agree w/ my career choice bc I'm always miserable ; I think he watches too much TV, things like that. And we really talked about it all. It was helpful to have a 'mediator' of sorts there; he helped to spur along conversation, and kept us talking instead of arguing about key issues to us.

I honestly don't think that this 'pre-marriage counseling' of sorts is a bad idea; I actually think it is a great idea. However, the $150 we're going to have to drop on the actual Pre-Canaa (sp?) classes is a WHOLE DIFFERENT ballgame.... >:/

farewell, johnny

I know many blogs will have this as a post today, along w/ all the news stations, but I had to post tribute as well:

Johnny Carson Dies At The Age Of 79
By LYNN ELBERAP
Television WriterLOS ANGELES (AP) --

Johnny Carson, the quick-witted "Tonight Show" host who became a national institution putting his viewers to bed for 30 years with a smooth nightcap of celebrity banter and heartland charm, died Sunday. He was 79...

"playing God"

What would you do if you could go back in time and change things about your past with just the blink of an eye? Or the viewing of a photograph? Or by reading a journal? New Line Cinema's "The Butterfly Effect" explores those possibilities.

Evan Treborn, played by Ashton Kutcher, has had a very troubled-and at times violent-childhood. At some point in his early years, he began having blackouts, which blocked the more devastating images from his memory. For example, minutes after he picks up a knife and his mother catches him with it in his hand, he can't remember why he had it or what had happened. His mother, with the help of a psychiatrist, suggests to Evan that he should start keeping a journal, which may help jog his memory after a blackout.

When Evan is in college outside his hometown (and has accumulated years' worth of journals), he has gone 7 years without a blackout. For one reason or another, he decides he needs to know what happened at specific blackout points in his childhood. He begins reading his old journals, and memories start hitting him like bricks. That's not enough for Evan, so he travels back home and begins asking questions to anyone who may be able to give him answers, from his mother to the kids he grew up with. (One of these childhood friends is Kayleigh, played by Amy Smart, whom Evan has been in love with since day one.)

The main focus of "The Butterfly Effect" is on Evan and his "ability": by reading his journals, Evan is able to jog his memory and somehow supernaturally re-enter himself into the memories, thereby allowing him to alter them as he chooses / pleases. He tries to alter them for good, mainly to help out his friends and the people he cares about, but inevitably ends up messing things up worse thanthey were.

There are 3 stages to each of the main character's lives: ages 7, 13, and adult. Rather than linking each actor to the character, you can go here to get all that information. For a run-down of the friends: Evan Treborn; Kayleigh Miller is Evan's first love, basically--she's a little blonde tomboy who, of course, grows up to be beautiful (or does she?); Tommy Miller is Kayleigh's brother--a sadistic, violent little shit (for lack of better terms) who has learned from his sick & abusive, equally sadistic father; Lenny Kagan is the stereotypical 'fat kid' of the group who is kind-hearted and made fun of by everyone except his friends; "Thumper" is Ethan's college roommate--a very large, gothic man.

Obviously there are more characters in the film than just 5 kids, but I didn't think they were as significant as the kids. The only other 2 who I thought were slightly more than remotely significant were Evan's mother (played by Melora Walters) and father (played by Callum Keith Rennie). Mrs. Treborn is raising Evan by herself, as Jason (Evan's father) is locked away in an institution--we find out he suffers from the same disease as his son. So it's not like *bam* this kid just has this disease; you get a little bit of background, and the relationship between mother and son is almost slightly bittersweet, yet touching.

To ramble a bit more, for those of you familiar with the chaos theory of mathematics / physics, you recognize "butterfly effect" as a phrase or idea that stems from the theory. (Basically, if the "butterfly effect" were true, a butterfly flapping it's wings in Missouri could cause an earthquake in Italy.) For more information on the chaos theory and the butterfly effect, I found this and this. And, for those of you who don't understand or just don't give a shit about the intelligence background of the movie, go here.

I really enjoyed this film. I'd been wanting to see it since it came out, but just never got around to it. (Plus, like many people, the idea of "Kelso" being a 'serious' actor just didn't do it for me--or seem to work, in my mind.) However, I personally thought that Ashton Kutcher did one hell of a job, and I would recommend this movie to anyone.

today, i'm feeling...

deja vu

I am having a major case of deja vu today...but first, some background:

In March of 1998, one of my very closest friends passed away w/ cancer. His name was Matt Bundren, or "Bubba" as we affectionately called him. "Bubba" was 14 1/2 when he passed away; I was a Junior in highschool. I remember the day like it was yesterday--it was in the morning at DuBourg when we were all standing around in the cafeteria waiting to go upstairs and start the day. Katie Thompson told me. I called my mom from the office before I headed to homeroom and told her. Then they announced it on DB TV that morning, making me remember the time leading up to his death--his 2 brothers (Matt, or "JB", and Adam, or "Bones") & dad shaving their heads when he was going through chemo, then all his football buddies at CBC following suit; the way he tried so damn hard to keep a positive outlook; all the great times we'd had at grade school, the pool, and just hanging out...

As soon as I got in the car that day after school, I broke down and mom just hugged me. I had dealt w/ death before--great uncles & aunts, older family members and the like. But I had never had to deal w/ the death of a friend--much less one who was only 14 1/2 years old and had so much to live for.

I hate to compare it like this, but the wake was like standing in line for the bathroom at a sporting event. It snaked from the room he was in, down the hallway, out into the foyer, and outside the Kutis funeral home there on Gravois. (The 'most dreaded', as I like to call it.) Thank God they didn't have an open casket for Bubba; it was hard enough handling the death of a friend, I don't think I could have handled actually seeing him.

The funeral was standing-room only; people lined the walls of the church where the mass took place. "On Eagles' Wings" choked everyone into sobs-which it usually tends to do, anyway--and JB gave a very beautiful eulogy.

I can't even begin to imagine how the family felt (and I'm sure still feels) or dealt w/ a loss of (for lack of a better term) a child. And honestly, I can't really describe how I felt. I know I was very bitter about it for quite a while: I'm supposed to be Catholic, never questioning God, and then he goes and takes one of my closest friends in such a horrible way, when he was so young? And a bit of reality hit, too: people my age can and do die. It made me so sad to finally realize that and accept it. My friend was gone and there was nothing I (or anyone else, for that matter) could do to get him back. I couldn't lay on a picnic table at the Fall Festival w/ him & my cousin Todd and name stars anymore...I wouldn't be able to watch as he expressed open-mouthed shock when Todd threw his boxers into the pool...and I wouldn't be able to get any more of those great teddy bear hugs that he freely handed out. But of course I had to try to look on the bright side: Bubba wouldn't be suffering anymore, spending countless hours and days at the hospital, undergoing chemotherapy & losing his hair, etc. I had to have faith that (going a little theological here) that was God's plan for him, however unfair it may have been, and that Bubba was in a better place than any of us could imagine. That's what got me through it. (And some of you say I'm a bad Catholic...)

So why this deja vu? Friday afternoon when Dustin, mom, and I got home from cake shopping, my brother dropped a bomb on us: Elizabeth (a little girl who is just 16 or 17, that RJ had gone all through grade school w/, and that I used to babysit) had been air-lifted to SLU Hospital Thursday night / Friday morning after a bad car accident. She and two of her friends were either going to or coming from Our Lady of the Snows in Belleville when the care they were riding in was T-boned. The driver apparently had only minor bumps / bruises, one other little girl (as we found out later to be another of RJ's ex-classmates) would need a lung transplant, and Elizabeth was the worst. She had a broken pelvis, swelling on the brain, and was in a coma.

Over the next few days we got bits and pieces of more information--her status, plans to visit her, ideas / suggestions as to what to do--from various sources. Then on Sunday, my mom told us they had decided to "let her go"--3 catscans had shown her as completely brain dead. I broke down. My brother, tough ass that he is, teared up a little but wouldn't let himself cry. But it's like all these floodgates were opened for me--obviously upset for the family as I knew them all, deja vu bc I know EXACTLY how my brother is feeling, and again that little bit of bitterness.

Elizabeth is being laid out tonight at the 'most dreaded' funeral home--the Kutis on Gravois--and I'm sure she'll have a line just like Bubba did. And I try so hard to think positive that this was "God's plan" for her--but how do you console someone (or yourself) w/ that kind of answer?

Again, my thoughts and prayers go out to the Eveker family & friends, and all that knew Elizabeth.