WTF??

People never cease to amaze me. Never. Denise pointed out an article to me (thanks, Denise!) which is on KSDK.com’s website. It is enough to somewhat anger me. The title reads simply:

“Hancock’s Father Sues Shannon’s, Others”

What the fuck??? I read the entire lawsuit, from beginning to end and felt I had to put in my two sense. (To know specifically what I’m talking about, open up the lawsuit from ksdk's website; it opens in a pdf format.)

(9.) “…Josh…was a “regular” at…Mike Shannon’s Restaurant and regularly became visibly intoxicated…” (I can bear witness to that; I saw him there the night before he died, and he was very intoxicated.)

(10.) “…by and through its employees, continued to knowingly serve intoxicating liquor to Josh…even though he was visibly intoxicated. The intoxication…was involuntary.” (Involuntary??? I can honestly say that, at almost 26 years old, I have never been “involuntarily” drunk. Was alcohol being forced down his throat? Was he fighting people off who were offering to buy him drinks, shots, etc? I wasn’t there the night the accident happened, but from the night before, I can say that I’m sure that wasn’t the case.)

(11.) “Patricia [Shannon’s daughter]…was aware that Josh…was visibly intoxicated…knowingly allowed the…staff to continue to serve alcoholic beverages…” (So you mean to tell me that, just because the manager says “Stop serving him”, a bunch of hot little 20-something year olds are going to listen and REFUSE a Cardinal player what he wants? I highly doubt it. Even so, Pat shouldn’t have to play “mommy” or “keeper” to a grown man; hell, SHE is the one who told him he needed a cab…which he REFUSED!)

(13.) “...Tolar [driver of the car that stalled on the highway prior to Josh’s wreck]…negligently allowed the vehicle to crash into the concrete median…Due to his negligence, the Geo Prism became stalled, and stopped in and blocking the left lane…” (So they’re trying to say this man “allowed” his car to crash into the median? Last I checked, no sane person WANTS to wreck their car. And could he really freakin’ help it where / when his car stalled??? I hate to break it to you, but if your car is going to stall, it’s going to stall—it doesn’t care where you are or what time it is.)

In the essence of space, I’ll sum up a bit of the rest. The driver of the tow truck is being sued for negligently blocking the lane of traffic when he stopped to assist Tolar. They claim he also negligently failed to provide adequate notice and warning to approaching motorists…even though the police report and witness accounts CLEARLY STATE his emergency flashers / tow lights were on, and he laid on the horn when he saw Hancock approaching. Not to mention this: the tow druck driver was “negligent”, according to the lawsuit, because he stopped directly behind the disable vehicle. Isn’t that what they are supposed to do? And, had the tow truck driver pulled farther to the left, so that he wasn’t directly behind the disabled vehicle, that would have left open the possibility of the driver of that vehicle being killed.

“The aforedescribed conduct and actions of the defendants, and each of them, directly caused or directly contributed to cause the death of Joshua Morgan Hancock.” Yet this lawsuit that his father so “wittingly” (and I use that term VERY lightly) put together, mentions NO actions that Josh himself, a grown adult, took that night that led to this horrible tragedy. It doesn’t mention the fact that a 29 year old man was incapable of knowing and understanding his own alcoholic intake limit. It doesn’t recognize that he REFUSED a cab when it was offered and suggested to him. It doesn’t mention anything about marijuana, which was found in the vehicle Josh was driving. And it doesn’t mention the fact that he is a grown adult who made some very bad choices that night that led to something horrible and tragic—his own death.

You know, I’m very sorry that this happened. All of St. Louis mourned and continues to mourn the loss of a life cut short by bad decisions. However, I am not a proponent of blaming someone else for your mistakes. Especially mistakes of this caliber. I think people need to realize that Josh MADE those choices that night. No one forced him to drink to the point of intoxication, and no one forced him to attempt to drive his own vehicle.

Like Christy said, “so sad...........they need to pray or focus their energies on drunk driving prevention--do something positive in his memory.” I agree. That’s the way to deal with this—positively. Not by blaming other people.

Regret

Both of my grandfathers were proud members of the US Navy. Grandpa Tunnicliff served aboard the USS Albemarle, and grandpa Branson was Chief Yeoman aboard the USS Forrestal. They were both proud men who served their country with dignity, honor, and respect.

So how does a regret fit in with this, you ask? My first regret is that I never got to meet my grandpa Tunnicliff. He passed before I was born—the afternoon of my parents' wedding, oddly enough. My second regret is that I never asked my grandpa Branson to tell me Navy stories; I never asked him questions about his time in the Navy, the places he traveled to, and the things he saw.

I know some Navy traditions / superstitions, etc. from bits and pieces I've heard from my grandma and parents, plus some research I've done on my own. Some of the things I've learned and heard about just fascinate me endlessly, and I'm proud and excited that my grandfathers were a part of it.

For instance, while watching "Pirates 2" last night, I started wondering if the Kraken they talk about in the was founded in fact, or smoething they merely created for the movie. So I did a little research this morning. Turns out, the Kraken was a superstition among sailors that dated back to 12th century Norway. Legend had it that the Kraken was an octopus-like monster with tentacles long enough to reach the top of a ship's masts. The beast was powerful enough to envelop an entire ship in its tentacles and sink it, bringing all the sailors down into Davy Jones' locker.

Davy Jones' locker was a term I had heard before, and I knew what it was. But while doing some digging this morning, I uncovered something that triggered a memory of something I'd seen a long time ago. The Crossing of the Line ceremony is an initiation of sorts among Naval sailors. In this rite of passage, shellbacks ("seasoned" sailors who have crossed the equator before) subject pollywogs (those who have not yet crossed) to different, often dirty, disgusting, and difficult tasks in order to join the rank of shellback. King Neptune, Davy Jones, and Queen Amphitrite (sailors in varying states of costume and accessories) preside over the ceremony. Back in the day, some of these acts got somewhat violent—i.e., sailors being whipped / beat with wet ropes and fire hoses. (The Navy has since issued an instruction which reiterates the Navy's zero tolerance policy for such hazing and explained that "crossing-the-line ceremonies…are only meant to celebrate and recognize the achievements of individual Sailors…or those of entire units." It goes on to disallow "any activity which is cruel, abusive, humiliating, oppressive, demeaning, or harmful.") Once a sailor has completed the acts, he is presented with an elaborate certificate proclaiming he has joined the rank of shellback. I'm not sure about grandpa Branson, but my grandpa Tunnicliff totally has one of those.

The traditions that accompany the sea are endlessly fascinating to me, and I only wish I'd have had the presence of mind when my grandfather was still alive to sit and ask questions, and listen to his stories of the sea. Now, unfortunately, I'm simply relegated to second hand accounts and internet research.

Following is the "Crossing the Line" certificate, word for word:

"To all Sailors wherever ye may be and to all Mermaids, Sea Serpents, Whales, Sharks, Dolphins, Skates, Suckers, Lobsters, Crabs, and other Living Things of the Sea, Greetings:

Know ye: That on this 28th day of September 1942 in Latitude 000"00" and Longitude 81 w there appeared within Our Royal Domain the Albemarle bound for (?)

Be it Remembered: that said Vessel, Officers and Crew thereof having been inspected and passed on by Ourself and Our Royal Staff, And Be It Known:
By all ye Sailors, Mariners and Land Lubbers, who may be honored by his presence, that Raymond Joseph Tunnicliff having been found worthy to be numbered as One of Our Trusty Shellbacks has been gathered to our fold and duly initiated into the Solemn mysteries of the Ancient Order of the Deep

Be It Further Understood: That by virtue of the power invested in me I hereby command my subjects to show due honor and respect to him whenever he may enter Our Realm

Disobey this order under penalty of Our Royal Displeasure

Signed by Neptunus Rex, Ruler of the Raging Main; and Davey Jones, His Majesty's Scribe."

Pretty flippin' cool, huh???

Putting things into perspective...

I was laid off from my job in March of 2006. At the time, I was devastated. I thought my life was over, I felt like a failure, and I dreaded the thought of having to claim unemployment. I had never experienced rejection like that before, and it hurt. After having worked in the fast food industry (God love Long John Silver's) for over 4 years, I was ready to take that "big girl" step and get out into the real world...into a "real" job. It lasted for almost 4 years, and then it was over. I remember my biggest thought at the time was, “Maybe I’m not cut out for a secretarial job…maybe I should go back to Long John Silver’s.” Re-thinking that now makes me shudder and want to give myself a black eye.

I sulked for a month or so, then picked myself up. I job hunted like never before, and began to see the lay-off for what it really was: a blessing in disguise. I had been miserable at that job! Completely and utterly MISERABLE. I worked with girls who thought beauty was more important than a job well done, attorneys who didn't appreciate nor acknowledge a job well done, and an office manager that got different type of "job" well done...like a $10,000 worth "job".

Everyday was a nightmare, and I dreaded dragging myself out of bed and into the office. I dreamed up every possible excuse I could think of for vacation, sick days, and arriving late / leaving early. I was NOT a model employee. Now, at my meeting with the big boss, in which he informed me I was being let go, he assured me it was not a performance issue, nor were they pulling a “fire to hire” act. It was simply because, as he put it, “We simply can’t afford to pay 9 people anymore…” That’s really all I remembered—10 minutes after he said it, and to this day—from our meeting. Then I packed my shit up in a box and a half, and was gone…never to look back.

It took me MONTHS—6, to be exact—to find a new, permanent job. In the meantime, starting in May, I was offered an interim position at my friend Denise’s doctors’ office. I worked part time, 2 ½ days a week, for a while, moved into a full time role, then was bumped back down to part time again. (Not her doing, I assure you.) I did that for 4 months until I landed the gig at the physical therapy joint. It was great, and I fell in love right away; I even had the thought, “Hey, this is something I can see me doing for the rest of my life!”

Well, as is the story of my life, that too came to a crashing halt…4 months into it! I won’t go into detail here, but let’s just say my story and theirs don’t match up, so I was let go. It’s been proven that I was in the right, not them, yet they won’t be over and done with it. Ah well, that’s the way the cookie crumbles, I suppose. But again, I was crushed—especially since I had finally found a job that I actually looked forward to going to in the mornings!

I went through the same motions that I did after the lay-off at the law firm, depression, feeling a failure, etc. Then the clouds parted ever so slightly: “Why would I want to work for an employer that obviously wasn’t going to believe a word I said, even once it was proved that I didn’t do anything wrong?? Why would I want to work for a company who does not value its employees??” My answer? I don’t, and I won’t.

So, after only 2 months of job and soul searching this time, I landed my current job. I really enjoy it. The phones are outrageously crazy at times, and there is a lot of work involved, but I feel like it’s something that I can do for a very long time. It’s a learning experience, in which I’m learning new things every day, and I take pride in both the work I do and the compliments I receive. I don’t deal with backstabbing coworkers, people here respect me for who I am and what I say, and they appreciate the job I do. How do I know? Because they tell me. I’ve never had that kind of reception and appreciation at a job. EVER. They gave me a welcome basket for crying out loud!!!

To sum up, it was hard for me to look at things this way at the time. However, had I never gotten laid off from the law firm, I may never have gotten he opportunity at Denise’s office, and I may never have realized that I want a career in the medical field. I could still be at the law firm, dreading every day, and trying desperately hard to keep up with the women in the office’s idea of “beauty”. (Meaning: “beauty is all on the outside; it’s a-ok to be a total bitch on the inside, as long as your hair and nails are done, and you have enough make-up on!”)

Putting things into perspective like this, just from a career aspect, have really made me thank God that all this has happened to me in just a year’s time. I still am fighting battles, but they are making me a stronger person and teaching me more about determination and strong will than I ever thought possible. I’m seriously considering writing a letter to big attorney boss man and thanking him for laying me off in the first place. Because without his foresight, I probably wouldn’t have taken the risks I’ve taken, or learned so much about myself and careers as I have over the past year. (I still think he “couldn’t pay” me because he was getting ready to send his daughter to Wash U’s law school, and had just taken his 5 person family on an Alaskan cruise, but that’s neither here nor there, is it?) :)

We Made It!!!

Gotta toot a personal horn here for a second...as bad as that sounds...

Dustin & I are celebrating 2 years of wedded...um..."bliss" today. Sometimes I can't believe it's been 2 years already, and sometimes I feel like it's been TWENTY two! (Just kidding!)

Even though, in some aspects, we're not where we thought we would be by this point, we're closer than we ever thought we would be in other aspects. (Make sense?) I can say we've both definitely come a long way in 2 years of marriage and almost 7 years together.

Things aren't ever smooth sailing ALL the time, but then again, what relationship isn't??? We argue & make up, learn from our mistakes, and move on with our life. Basically, I can sum it up in one way: this is THE BEST damn rollercoaster ride I've EVER been on!

Love you, honey!